ONLY IN BRITAIN
Being British is about driving in a
German car to an
Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then grabbing an
Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way home, to sit on
Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a
Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A & E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
and finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.
If you're proud to be British, send this on!







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MangaPip
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\"To try is to fail but to fail is not to try\"
Freelance digital artist & animator
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I have forgotten that men cannot see Unicorns.
If men no longer know what they're looking at,
there may be other unicorns in the world yet,
unknown, and glad of it. -The last unicorn.
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Letting thoughts go free, soaring boundlessly; passing through the mountains, brushing past the oceans. My world has no boundaries.
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